Love and Marriage

I found out today that one of my girls from high school got engaged this weekend and I'm so happy for her. I know she's been wanting her guy to propose for awhile and I guess he's been saving up the dough to get her a nice ring and make the event special.

This is the first one of my friends to actually get engaged. It's kind of weird to me that I don't know more people who are getting engaged, considering that me and my friends are in our mid to late 20's, and we're just about at that age where people traditionally begin their first marriages (jk).

Out of all of my female friends, there aren't any (besides the one who just got engaged) who are any where near being married. I know that we are all "modern" women and people are getting married later and later, but it still seems that most of us "should" at least be in serious relationships that could end up in marriage. Hmmmm....

And what's with people and long engagements??? When I first started working at my job, one of my coworkers was telling me about how excited she was that her long time boyfriend had finally proposed and she showed me the big rock on her hand. I congratulated her and asked her what date the wedding was going to be. She replied that they hadn't set a date yet but that they were living together so it's like they're married already. That was in early 2005.

Fast forward to late 2007. Let's just say 2008. They are still living together and still no date has been set. I don't understand. He is living in her house so it seems to me that she was probably whining to him and feeling bad about shacking with him, so he bought her a ring to shut her up. I can't know that for sure, but it seems possible.

I can't imagine being engaged to someone for 3 years, especially after dating for probably more years than that. People will say that having a piece of paper doesn't make a difference, but it does. Despite the fact that I just don't believe in shacking, there are other potential problems with the situation. You can't file a joint tax return (which is the main reason I want to get married--hehehe). Also, if something happens to one person, the other has no say in any legal affairs, unless the other party has written up a will or power of authority (which most people don't do).

IMO, if a man proposes, and she accepts, the wedding should ideally take place within one year or less. Both of you should have decided that you want to spend the rest of your lives together BEFORE getting engaged. So the wedding (to confirm that decision) should be something that you are both in a hurry to do. No need to spend $80,000 on a lavish ceremony. When you look back on the special day in 5, 10, 20, or 30 years, you won't remember the 14kt gold stemware or the 7 foot tall ice sculpture. Hopefully you will remember gazing into your soon to be spouse's eyes and knowing that this person was meant just for you and that the day will forever be a tribute to your decision to grow old together. Or at the very least, it was the day that you became eligible for the married people's tax break. :-)